Random Movie Recasting
by VelocityRaptor
Summary: What happens if you put DW Characters in movies?
1. Chapter 1

**Random Movie Recasting**

**Director's assistant: I have a good idea!**

**Director: What?**

**Assistant: Remake some movies with DW Characters!**

**Director: Weird but, GOOD!**

**Idea: THE A-TEAM 2010**

* * *

><p><strong>The A-Team 2010 (Opening Scene after title)<strong>

**Sima Zhao as Face**

**Dian Wei as B.A.**

**Guan Xing as Murdock**

**Wang Yuanji as Sosa**

**Guan Ping and Ling Tong as Bodyguards**

* * *

><p>The cast looks at the script<p>

Guan Xing: What the hell? I'm a psychotic pilot?!

Sima Zhao: I got the good role? Lucky me!

* * *

><p>80 missions later... At the camp:<p>

Guan Xing: Zhao, you want napalm or nuke? (By a stove wearing an apron)

Sima Zhao: Nuke it. Nuke it! (Relaxing with only his pants and shades on)

(Guan Xing grabs a shotgun shell and pours gunpowder in the stove)

Dian Wei: Xing, burn the hell of that... (Near a motorcycle also with shades on)

(Guan Xing flips a patty as a harmless explosion occurs from the stove)

Dian Wei: Like it was damned.

Sima Zhao: Would've burned the whole place down buddy.

(A helicopter is flying overhead)

Guan Xing: You want secret sauce? (About to pour vinegar)

Sima Zhao: No, no no no

(Guan Xing starts tasting the vinegar)

Dian Wei: The secret's out: You're crazy. Everybody knows that.

Sima Zhao: No one can do a good marinade like you can, Xing. THough I got paralyzed the last time I ate that.

Guan Xing: It's only partial paralysis.

(Wang Yuanji is talking through the radio while walking with Guan Ping and Ling Tong. She approaches Sima Zhao)

Wang Yuanji: Lieutenant.

Sima Zhao: Sorry. Am I supposed to call you Lieutenant back?

Wang Yuanji: No, you're supposed to call me Captain.

Sima Zhao: Captain. Captain?... (Starts idle chatter with her, making Ling Tong smirk at Guan Ping)

(Guan Xing shows Dian Wei a sock puppet from behind the motorcycle)

Guan Xing (As the sock puppet) Would you like some pork?

Dian Wei: If I break every bone in your hand, can you still do that?

* * *

><p><strong>Director: Nice work people!<strong>

**Guan Xing: This patty is delicious!**

**Guan Ping: Brother, Are you supposed to eat that?**

* * *

><p><strong>Author's notes: So my idea came from another one like this except with Disney movies (with music). I thought of this in school: DW Characters in other movies (That I was able to watch)<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

* * *

><p><strong>Guan Ping: (Wearing a business outfit) Can I say one thing? This is dumb.<strong>

**Director: Well you have to be my assistant because Dian Wei accidentally smacked my previous one in the face.**

**Guan Ping: Well how are we supposed to find people worthy of this role? (Holds up picture of Spy Kids 4)**

**Director: Well, we'll just improvise**

* * *

><p><strong>Spy Kids 4 (Sort of ending scene)<strong>

**Zhang Chunhua as Marissa**

**Sima Yi as Wilbur**

**Sima Zhao as Cecil**

**Wang Yuanji as Rebecca**

**Zhang Bao as Juni**

**Xing Cai as Carmen (Simply imagine Xing Cai if she were older than Zhang Bao)**

**Xu Shu as Tick Tock**

**Sima Yan as Spybaby (I have no idea what i'm thinking already)**

**Yue Jin as Argonaut (What?)**

**Sun Ce, Zhao Yun, Xu Huang and Deng Ai as OSS guys**

**Ma Chao, Jia Xu, Zhou Tai, Wen Yang and Yuan Shao as Tick Tock minions.**

* * *

><p><strong>Sima Zhao: So I have to act like Yuanji is my sister?<strong>

**Director: Yes.**

**Guan Ping: Sir, this is quite a big cast. And Xing Cai is younger than Zhang Bao.**

**Director: Like I said, we're improvising.**

**Yue Jin: Why am I a dog?**

**Guan Ping: Also, why are we putting Sima Yan in there? In the movie, the baby was a girl. Yan is a boy.**

**Director: I don't care. ACTION!**

* * *

><p>(Xu Shu comes in holding a necklace with a gem in it. He is also wearing goggles.)<p>

Xu Shu: (In TT's high pitched voice) You think you stopped me? You stopped nothing. We're just going to keep doing this over and over until I get what I want! Because this time, time... (Swings the necklace and goes back into his normal voice) is on my side.

(Sima Yi rappels down and cuffs Xu Shu)

Sima Yi: Yeah. Hard time.

(Ma Chao, Jia Xu, Zhou Tai, Wen Yang and Yuan Shao jump to the back but Sima Yi knocks them out in one punch)

Xu Shu: Lucky punk! (He gets taken away by OSS guys)

(Sima Zhao and Wang Yuanji go to Sima Yi)

Sima Zhao: How did you find us?

Sima Yi: I'm your father. And we're going to make time.

Zhang Chunhua: That's very heroic.

(Sima Yi and Zhang Chunhua approach each other slowly)

Sima Yi: So...

Zhang Chunhua: So...

Sima Yi: So you're a spy.

Zhang Chunhua: Yeah. I'm a spy.

Sima Yi: And I'm a spy hunter. (Holds Chunhua close, making her blush slightly) Gotcha.

(They kiss and have a group hug with Zhao and Yuanji)

Wang Yuanji: Now this is family time.

(Xing Cai and Zhang Bao approach them)

Xing Cai: Bao and I have decided to become co-leaders for the new Spy Kids program.

Zhang Bao: We're going to need some new recruits with creativity and heads up thinking.

Xing Cai: Zhao, Yuanji

Zhang Bao: And of course, Spybaby.

(They turn to Sima Yan and Yue Jin)

Yue Jin: Kid's got a surprise for you.

(Yan stands up)

Sima Yi: Baby's first steps.

Yue Jin: You're more impressed by a kid standing up than a dog that can talk?

(Xu Shu escapes the OSS guys. Everyone turns to his direction. Yan suddenly trips Xu Shu and prevents his escape.)

Xing Cai: (Almost laughs)

Zhang Bao: Nice!

Zhang Chunhua: Oh! Baby's first bad guy!

Sima Yi: Wow.

Zhang Bao: (Turns back) Well, you don't have to start them too young.

* * *

><p><strong>Guan Ping: What happened, Xu Shu?<strong>

**Xu Shu: I couldn't keep up that stupid voice.**

**Director: That was good! Bravo! Bravo!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

* * *

><p><strong>Guan Ping: I've got something!<strong>

**Director: What is it?**

**Guan Ping: Ok...**

* * *

><p><strong>Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (Coronation)<br>**

**Zhao Yun as Aragorn**

**Zhou Yu as Legolas**

**Zhuge Liang as Gandalf**

**Sun Shang Xiang as Arwen**

**Xiahou Ba as Gimli**

**Ma Chao as Faramir**

**Wang Yi as Eowyn**

**Sun Jian as Elrond**

**Guan Xing, Zhang Bao, Ma Dai and Jiang Wei as Frodo, Sam, Merry and Pippin**

**Generics and Peasants as the Crowd**

* * *

><p><strong>Director: This is the worst cast you just made.<strong>

**Guan Ping: What? It's my first one!**

**Ma Chao: I don't think I should be in the same set as Wang Yi.**

**Wang Yi: I agree with him. Why us?**

**Guan Ping: I was going to go for Sun Quan and Lian Shi but, they're shopping right now.**

**Ma Chao: Well these outfits are dumb. And your decision is also dumb.**

**Xiahou Ba: Remind me again why I have a fake beard?**

**Director: Your character is a dwarf and you're kinda short. Screw talking! Let's get this over with!**

* * *

><p>(Zhuge Liang mounts the crown on Zhao Yun)<p>

Zhuge Liang: Now come the days of the king.

(Zhao Yun faces the crowd. The crowd cheers.)

Zhao Yun: The day is not one by one man, but to all.

(He starts singing something I (the author) don't even understand. He walks down the carpet (or whatever). He meets Zhou Yu. He notices Sun Shang Xiang in a veil accompanied b Sun Jian.)

(Zhao Yun and SSX kiss as the crowd celebrates.)

(They walk through the crowd to find Guan Xing and co. bowing to them)

Zhao Yun: You bow to no one.

(Everyone bows towards Guan Xing and co.)

* * *

><p><strong>Ma Chao: I barely did anything there!<strong>

**Wang Yi, Xiahou Ba and Sun Jian: Us too!**

**Director: Well that was well done by everyone regardless.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Guan Ping: Boss!**

**Director: Yes?**

**GP: I've got a new idea!**

**Director: Well, I hope it's better than the last one you made.**

* * *

><p><strong>Curse of the Black Pearl (Sort of ending scene)<strong>

**Jia Xu as Jack Sparrow**

**Cao Pi as Will Turner**

**Zhen Ji as Elizabeth Swan**

**Yuan Shao as Governor Weatherby Swan**

**Yuan Xi as Commodore Norrington (No model? IMAGINE!)**

**Dian Wei as the Executioner**

**Lu Su as the guy who reads the crimes (I have no idea how I should even call them)**

**Sun Ce, Sun Quan, Sima Zhao, Wen Yang, Guan Xing, Zhang Bao, Xu Huang and Zhang Liao as the guards**

**Zhu Rong, Xiahou Ba, Zhang Fei and Generics as Black Pearl crew**

* * *

><p><strong>Director: This is a huge ass cast.<strong>

**Dian Wei: I feel like I'm wearing underwear on my face here.**

**Zhen Ji: This outfit is quite revealing**

**Cao Pi: (eye twitches) You...look...lovely, my dear.**

**Guan Ping: I almost considered putting in Zhao Yun and Sun Shang Xiang but...screw it!**

**Director: Action!**

* * *

><p><strong>(Jia Xu is about to get hanged. Lu Su is carrying a scroll while talking<strong>

**Lu Su: Jia Xu, you are guilty of the following crimes...(continues talking)**

**Jia Xu: (muttering) It's Captian Jia Xu...**

**Lu Su: ...Poaching, Rape, Arson...(continues talking)**

**(Cao Pi pushes through the crowd. Dian Wei pulls the lever but Cao Pi threw a sword at the base of the platform, preventing Jia Xu from getting hanged. He pushes Dian Wei into a group of guards. The duo attempt to escape and using the discared rope, deal with three of the guards. They get cornered near the top of the walls afterwards.)**

**Yuan Shao: We gave you clemency and this is how you repay us? He's a pirate!**

**Cao Pi: And a good man.**

**Zhen Ji: Father, my heart lies with Cao Pi. (Silence for a few seconds)**

**Jia Xu: (Goes on the top of the walls.) Well, on this day, you shall remember this day as the day that...**

**(Falls off the walls. He swims towards the Black Pearl where Zhang Fei and Xiahou Ba give him a pirate hat.)**

**Zhu Rong: Captain, the ship is yours.**

**(Okay so, on this part, I have no idea what Jack said in this part so let's go back to Cao Pi and Yuan Shao)**

**Yuan Xi: Well, we should go.**

**Sun Ce: But what about Jia Xu?**

**Yuan Xi: Well, I suppose we could give him a good day's head start.**

**(The guards and Yuan Xi left)**

**Yuan Shao: Well, I suppose this is where your heart lies. He is a blacksmith after all.**

**Zhen Ji: No, (takes off Cao Pi's hat) he's a pirate.**

**(Yuan Shao leaves the scene, smiling. Cao Pi and Zhen Ji share a long kiss.)**

* * *

><p><strong>Director: Well, that's a rap, people!<strong>

**Sima Zhao: Why are they still there?**

**Everyone noticed Cao Pi and Zhen Ji still making out.**

**Guan Ping: I say we get those two a room.**


	5. Chapter 5

**VR: It's been a while, right? Let's do another one!**

**Guan Ping: Yes, sir!**

* * *

><p>Smosh Dixon Cider Music Video<p>

**Sima Shi as Anthony**

**Sima Zhao as Ian**

* * *

><p><strong>VR: Who's gonna be the dancers?<strong>

**Guan Ping: I dunno.**

**VR: Zuo Ci! Make phantoms of these dancers! (Flashes Dixon Cider music video at him.)**

**In an instant, clones of the four dancers pop out.**

**VR: Finally. ACTION!**

* * *

><p><strong>SZ: Sometimes, you have bad days; (SZ boringly sitting on a bench with Wang Yuanji)<strong>

**SS: Days where you think nothing can bring you up; (SS boringly sitting with Zhang Chunhua, Sima Yi and Guan Yinping)**

**SZ: But if you got a girl, you got nothing to worry about.**

**SS: Just listen here, and we'll tell you just what's up...**

**SZ: Grab your girl and have some Dixon Cider. (SZ pours cider on Yuanji)**

**SS: And show your love with your Dixon Cider. (Yuanji enjoys it)**

**SZ: And fill her full with lots of Dixon Cider,**

**Both: In her mouth hole, flowing down inside her!**

**SS: Then her grab her grandma. Get some Dixon Cider. (SS pours cider on Zhang Chunhua)**

**SZ: Too old to handle all the Dixon Cider. (Sima Yi's jaw drops and the food in his mouth falls back on his plate)**

**SS: And show your family your Dixon Cider,**

**Both: In her mouth hole, flowing down inside her!**

**SZ: You might not get it yet so I'm gonna tell you again.**

**SS: Hey, hey, ho.**

**SZ: Then you can shout it out and go tell all of your friends.**

**SS: Hey, hey, ho.**

**SZ: I love Dixon Cider, and I will, until the day that I die.**

**SS: Ooooooooooh.**

**SZ: I would even choose it over... (Completely confused)**

**I guess...pie? (SS shrugs)**

**SS: It makes me feel so good. I wanna have more Dixon Cider (SS celebrating on the grass with jars of cider.)**

**If I don't get enough, I'll beg and plead (SS is shown begging on the street for more cider)**

**'cause girl, you know just what I need.**

**SZ: I'm on a mission for some Dixon Cider.**

**SS: If your girl don't want it then you best go hide her. (Cai Wenji is running into her house)**

**SZ: 'Cause I find her give her Dixon Cider. (SZ barges in with a jar of cider.)**

**Both: Push, shove it all down inside her. (SZ pours cider at Cai Wenji. She enjoys it.)**

**SZ: Make her thirst for the Dixon Cider. (SS makes a face and Guan Yinping gets on the table)**

**SS: Put it on a string so I can ride her. (SS rides Yinping like a horse while she reaches for a jar of cider on a string)**

**Both: Can't wait to put it all inside her.**

**SS (in a more gangster voice): DIXON CIDER!**

**I was thirteen when I had my first Dixon Cider.**

**I had so much that when I talk, I would slur.**

**Parents didn't like it. There was nothing they could do.**

**Then my mama tried it. She started slurring too.**

**My dad said "No more Dixon Cider till you're older!" I said "Hell no!"**

**So I rolled him over with a boulder**

**Now my ass is stuck in this crappy foster care...**

**Can anyone save me from this killer bear? (A guy in a bear costume pounces on him. SZ in a child costume caught a disembodied hand. Cue fake kid scream)**

**SS: It don't matter who you are. White, Black, Asian or Hispanic.**

**SZ: There's no need to panic. You know that s***'s organic.**

**SS: If you don't get enough, it can make you go nuts.**

**SZ: Grab your Dixon Cider, wash it down with doughnuts. (SZ has donuts on both hands and in his mouth)**

**SS: Grab your girl and get some Dixon Cider.**

**SZ: Sweet, sweet love you will provide her.**

**SS: Fill her full with lots of Dixon Cider.**

**Both: In her mouth hole flowing down inside her.**

**SZ: Then shower her with Dixon Cider.**

**SS: With all your clothes on that's what I prefer. (Sima Yi and Zhang Chunhua start acting weirdly while SS pours more Dixon Cider on Yinping)**

**SZ: Show your love with Dixon Cider. (SZ pours more cider on Yuanji and Sun Ce in a cop outfit)**

**Both: Push and shove it all down inside her.**

**SS: So it's a deal and we hope you understand.**

**SZ: We want the whole world with Dixon Cider in its hand.**

**SS: If you're wondering what this song is really all about,**

**Both: We're talking 'bout shoving p****es in your mouth!**

**YEAH!**

* * *

><p>Sima Shi: Seriously? A cider commercial is a d*** joke?<p>

They notice Sima Yi and Zhang Chunhua making out on the table.

Sima Zhao: I guess cider can make you drunk.

* * *

><p><strong>I saw something like this. I just tried to complete it.<strong>


End file.
